After college, when my brain is dulled by inactivity of waiting for the result of board exams, it crossed my mind to enroll in the School of Medicine. I've always been captivated with those white blazers and hanging stethoscopes. How it did not come to pass, I thanked the Lord. Because now, it's part of my job to remove the white blazer and hanging stethoscope, change into scrub suits, and arguing with the doctors how to compute the accurate intake and output. Yeah, that's actually so normal being a nurse.
And so my day starts at 5:30 in the morning, my daily set time for waking up. And 5 minutes more for an extra snooze. It's quite plain ironing your uniforms with towel on your hair. If only I did not update my Facebook status, I could have been already fixing my hair while having a sip of coffee. Nah, that social media can do. Anyway, I still received my endorsement on time, while yawning once in a while. I glanced at the clock, which is pacing slow for a census manageable for staffs who usually on the run early in the morning.
This day is peaceful. Until the monitor will alarm for a low heart rate, the other, faster. Stable, is foremost, not even a word to be uttered in ICU. In a place where windows are not likely included in the floor plan, you'll realized how one's excesses is a deficiency to another patients. Moving on, you'll get by to hours when you are prompted to keenly find a good vein, and though it's 7 degrees outside, you feel like being in a sauna out of pressure to get a good access. You'll find yourself then being in a habit of finding good veins in every patient you'll see at first encounter. Even at your very own.
The ward called. An IV insertion. Bring on the habit! The ER called, patient for intubation. Oh, it's not included in my habit, so back off? Who said? Was it not mentioned in review days that Airway is a Priority? Your walk now becomes a sprint. You wear gloves that snuggly fit because you needed to ambubag the patient. In unfortunate times, your overcoat did not survive from vomitous, and later realized that it was actually not yours. It was just borrowed. Poor colleague.
Time now is pacing fast. You can't even determine if the sun shines outside because as you waited for the feeding in the tube to go down, your mind is on your notes which was not yet started, doctor's orders you haven't carried out. Your patient opened his eyes, it was a beautiful window you see for the day. You forget what you haven't done, but the ones you did. At least.
Nearing the end of shift, your patient's level of consciousness dropped. Heart rate is nearing to arrest. Then it stopped. Code blue. Time stopped. You are now compressing someone's heart. You realized how ironic it seems when people wishes for time to swiftly pass while others wants it not to move at all. To which of these God listens to? To which of these God answers? I do not know. I do not own Time.
I changed my scrub suits to my white blazer. I freed my hair from its tie. Holding the frozen Oreo frappe, I punched out. The clock reads 2000H. My shift has ended. My profession hasn't. Tomorrow, when my clock alarms at 5:30 in the morning, I'll look forward to seeing another beautiful window. I told you, I thanked God I did not become a doctor.
"You can’t be successful in life without these two essential things: Giftedness and Godliness.
Giftedness is the ability to turn thoughts into things. Godliness is the ability to use that Giftedness to Serve." - Bo Sanchez
No comments:
Post a Comment