..Where Do I Begin?: A Question of Pursuit..

Where do I begin? I've been humming this familiar song today while I'm on duty and the call bell from every corner of the station kept pressing it seemed like I'm having a background orchestra. I didn't give in to the fear that nature will rise against my golden voice (ahem) which is very fitting to the concert room I called bathroom. I have been quite a disturbed soul for days that one of the safe ways (if I may say so) is to disperse the "humid air" by humming it away. Life's  a bit of  a joke sometimes. Just when you are ready to saunter a certain road, it seems like another way emerged from a distance. The question now is which road to head? Fear is smirking somewhere between hope and failure, between familiarity and unknown, between comfort zone and courage zone. There are many opinionated people saying what's best for you and that you should do this and you should do that. Where to begin??

My only sister Robz is currently working in a company but I don't understand for what other reasons that she applied to another company. Since she has a good background of working experience as a Software Engineer, being hired was a breeze. I was happy for her since she asked me to pray for it and it was granted. One day, she messaged me and said that she turned down the offer: travel privileges and salary that is enticing enough to leave the job she was at least happy serving at. I feel astounded and drowsy reading her message. I cannot understand though I read it twice until it dawned on me the word "passion". She's been serving the kids every Saturday in He Cares foundation, feeding them and giving them not only a bath but the love they cannot get from the streets. For that of which she finds most joy and fulfillment. Her passion in serving other people is the main reason of her turning down the job that could give her material joy but not inner peace. And because God crowns your efforts double when you choose to serve Him first, my sister was transferred to the main company weeks after and was promoted as Senior Technical Consultant. And she's only 25! There are things indeed that drives us crazy. Choices that will test our capacity to choose  and it's not always easy because it entails giving up: your comfort,  your convenience, your safe haven.

Clarity is what I've been praying for fervently everyday. I believe in Divine Intervention, it's the best compass of all time. No matter how well-arranged your plans are, it will be blown away in a snap when it is not in accordance to His will. And what is His will for me? I go back to the deepest want of my heart. To where I can find inner peace, hope despite the possibilities of failure, of honing the gifts I was blessed with, and the fulfillment in living out my passion. It may not necessarily bring you material fulfillment, but who said you can take anything with you when your time-glass drains empty?

Let me pose this cracking question if you are, like me, in a dilemma between two choices:

If you are on your deathbed, what would you lose in exchange for something you can keep?

The things you can afford to bargain are the things you can let go. What will be left are what will you carry to the next life, figuratively.

Pursue the things that make you feel most alive. Begin and ends where your heart beats stronger.
Happy Mid-week!=)