I was preparing my patient to be brought down for operation. He's at his 40's. His almond eyes that becomes obliterated the moment he smiles remind me so much of my first love. Beside him is his 5-year old boy wearing those pair of glasses, observing my every move and asking me what I will gonna do with his dad. Patient for this cute little man, I said we'll take his dad to the Operating Room to remove what makes his dad sick. The stretcher was positioned in the room and my patient obediently followed the instructions. I am about to give the pre-operative injection when he came out from my back, grabbed the safety bar of the stretcher that was taller than him and tried to fit his circle face on the spaces and said "Daddy I am here. You take care, ok?". I don't know what's with those words from a 5-year old but it touched the kid in me. It took me to a time when we were taken out of the chance to have these words said, to have that kind of moment I will just be forever wish to happen.
I said many years ago that I have forgiven you. For leaving without a word, for a goodbye that was never said and explained. I allowed little consolation to embrace me that it was always for the good, that He knows the best and that everything ends..all the pains, the sufferings, and the longing for days that you are not here. Yes, I have forgiven you from that unwanted goodbye. Nonetheless, there will always be good memories to go back to, a moving painting where I can see you there in the canvas of my vivid memory. You and your almond eyes. Those eyes that I once believed cried for joy when you had us. And with that thought, it will be enough to maintain the colors in the canvas: where you do not fade, where you do not grow old, where you stay forever the man I first loved. You died, but our love didn't. You died, but your love didn't.
Happy Birthday Pap, you'll always be your daughters' first love. It will never die.
You take care, ok?-Kim and Robz
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