My good friend Dexter has a habit. I once told him I'm so disappointed with a bad situation I don't want to involve myself and that my temper is reaching the thermometer's dead end and I could explode anytime with anger. He simply said, "write it down". To my dismay after been waiting for his conceivable answer, I just received these lines from him.."write it down".. Dexter then told me that he has this habit: when he is angry, dismayed, hurt, or even wishing for something he thinks is not plausible in real world, he would write it down.
I often received comments that I am a mysterious person, hard to contest with what is on my mind. As what someone told me, not considering him as a possible suitor and I quote " you are a difficult woman".. Maybe because I am ( still) a private person and I enjoy my solitude most of the time. I believe that there are many forge things and people in this world, oh there are plenty of them and to be careful, I chose my friends. You can tell me anything and everything with my attentive ears listening 100% but plainly, you can't expect me to disclose mine just like that. There are a handful of skeletons in my closet known to only few I have entrusted with and I want it there to remain indefinitely. Thank goodness God invented writing..and to add a modern juicy twist, blogging.
I still have my secluded times when I am adapting Dexter's habit but gave it an added verb "burn".
I write down my wishes and stick it to a place where my peripheral vision can see it more often..
I write down my blessings and read it in tedious times where I have devoid emotions..
I write when verbal words are not clear to be articulated..
I write when I have shaking grounds and nothing to find a flicker of hope..
I write when I wanted to let go..
..and so I've written his name..and burn..
You are a dramatic writer.. Writing is a good outlet of emotions but do not just spend most of your time on it. I don't know when and where did I hear this line that struck me and it says "If you think you are spending too much time on the net, maybe your relationships are fantasy". It's not directly referred to writing but it is very relevant. It's nice to write. Burn things. Talk to unknown, bogus and shadows. But bear in mind that there is a world out there and sometimes our skeletons on the closet must be exposed so the world will know us fully and we could build great relationships.Peace! God bless you kim. :)
ReplyDeleteWriting for me,is the most solitary thing in the world next to mixing watercolors from a faded paint brush and flipping pages of a good book.. Don't get me wrong but I have my social life blotspace..only that after the manic phase, these are my cool-down activities..the world out there is noisy enough to add another blow..as I always say, go where most people won't go..
ReplyDeleteI did something like this weeks ago. The prayer and life workshop that I'm attending at the moment has this activity wherein we would write down things that we want to let go. Yes the feeling is nice. Burning those words you've written. And pretty much symbolic.. It eases out the burden in a way, but still the reality remains that it's always a process. An ongoing/continuing one I'd say. :)
ReplyDeleteLovefool..and seeing the paper turned to ashes, burying it where it can rest forever..often than not, the process is usually a tedious one,.and because there are no shortcuts, we found ourselves again writing..then burning..
ReplyDelete