09 January 2020

Dont Be Sorry You’re Single (For Now)

The social media hype has reached that point of no return. Our perception of happiness has been altered in tantamount ways. The Who’s-with-Who, Them-God-Knows-Where-Travels photos, and the list is endless. It’s as if your hashtags are the indicators of how well/bad you go through life. We have developed immunity. And I bet the cure is a gargantuan challenge. 


Right. I know exactly how it feels. Christmas time. Weather is cold. Blinding lights emanating from everywhere. 365 days at hand to completion. And there’s you. 
Very.Much.Single.
I knew so well how it must be felt. I share with your sentiments when asked with that repetitive, eardrum-inflicting pain question: “Why are you still single?”

There’s nothing wrong with you, beautiful soul. Please read that again. 
There’s nothing to be ashamed of from unsolicited comments of your Standards ( though I know how much you would want to zip someone’s mouth).


Don’t be sorry you’re single.
A married friend of mine dropped me a message telling me how lucky I am to be traveling the world. “Buti ka pa buhay single”. That was quite a message that I feel vindicated🤣 I politely replied that our blessings come in different forms and that perhaps, hers is being a homemaker. 
Perspective wise, you don’t know how many people would have wished your solitary life. That “Sana All” has exception. On the optimistic side, yah’ know.

Don’t be sorry you’re single.
It’s the best time to return favors to your parents, to your community, and most importantly, to your self. “You cannot give what you don’t have”.  Understanding fully a particular stage of your life gives you meaning to the next that’s waiting. You don’t have to feel stuck at your Season of Waiting. You can flourish at this stage to be the best version of yourself, no skipping ladder just because everyone else has been in that hashtag! And imagine how much of a giver you can be when you are already in a relationship. 

Don’t be sorry you’re single.
Life is giving you a chance to make sound choices. You are allowed to build those walls (I say so) and see the ones who are brave enough not just to conquer it but to be with the one who built it. That might sound traditional. That sounds kinda off track when cohabitation and One Night Stand are like hot cakes. And being a virgin makes you feel you don’t belong. You were left behind. 
Don’t  be that someone who is just settling because you are scared what everyone is scared about. Raise your market price. You are more than just a single commodity for a cheap relationship shopper. 

Don’t be sorry you’re single.
Your life now is like a jigsaw puzzle. There are pieces you don’t like. Pieces that won’t fit simply because you are in a hurry to fit them all. It’s as if the rope is getting shorter and the puzzle will never be complete. That abyss. That one thing. 
But listen to this: your timeline is not of God’s. Your theory of best is not of God’s.

One day, while Benedict and I are having this conversation, I learned how much he also yearned figuring out what’s on the other side of the horizon. I, on the other side, is also thinking his thoughts. 
Our parallel worlds. 
One that would never meet. 

But who can tell what lies beyond those parallels?

Imagine if I didn’t wait. Imagine if I settled from all the ones I met in my travels and ended up in a shallow relationship just to have something to call my own. Imagine if I jumped to the wreckage just for convenience and thirst for connection.

One day, when all the pieces fit, when the song you hum in your heart is audible enough it drowns your own rhythm, you will thanked those years of Pause. 
Those years of waiting? In God’s economy, nothing goes to waste!
There’ll not be a one second late when the One is right in front of you saying these words:“ I’m glad you weren’t sorry you were single".

P.S. 1
I started this article on a 14C, my coffee turned cold, Christmas tree glimmering at my back. Continued it in Los Angeles Airport during a layover. Benedict, on his scrubs, was calling me.

P.S. 2
Today, as I publish this article, my ring finger looked even better. I just said YES to his proposal.


Indeed,I wasn’t sorry I waited. I wasn’t sorry I was once single.❤️

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