..if only life is as simple as watching sunset..

It was about sunset and there he was sitting beside me. I'm a bit conscious probably because it's been a whole afternoon and I smell, errr, nevermind. Or probably because I never get near too close with him all the time we were together. Or probably because I fear that he might hear my heart's lub-dub. Or simply because his presence is enough to caused me goosebumps. He never held my hands, but I wished he did. He never looked at me in the eyes, but I wished he did. Because those dark eyes are my all-time favorite.  The glance that says so much more than what he is capable of saying. The stares that swept you off your feet.

He walked me out of that green grass where we sat watching the river. If only life is as simple as watching sunset, I can stalk him watching sunset forever. I kissed him goodbye on the cheek, and again, wished that it was somewhere else. So he'll have all the firsts'. 

Seeing him standing far as the jeepney moves away, and turning my back around brought a pinch of pain that a Cadburry chocolate failed to soothed. Perhaps, it's true that in life, there's a one true love snapshot. 

Moved by the beauty of sunset on my way home, far from that river where he and I visited once many many years ago one summer afternoon, where love simply lost its ability to be spelled and define, memory brought me there again.

No matter how picturesque a sunset is, it's impossible to own it. He is too beautiful to be own that in the process of showing his light for me, he had forgotten how to show that light for himself. I don't want to destroy that light.

I've learned that in life, you have to learn to open your palms. To set something free. To know that if you're not capable to give what he deserves, be generous to allow the person to receive what he deserves..from someone else. It's awful that way. But nothing in life is easy. Nothing in love is easy. 

There's so much in young love I can go back to. Sunset, usually reminds me of it.