..She embraced me once more..

Monastery of Mt. Carmel

My half-inch sandals paved noise as I walked into the familiar floors. The sun is high as I waited for the hour of Great Mercy. Its rays entered into the windows and struck a vibrant effect on the turquoise color of the high ceilings. I bowed down to show respect for Her. My hands are a little bit sweaty as my steps culminated into the pew where I always find my resting den. The flowers were arranged in specific lengths, and there are still used candles that were not yet changed anew. The piano is covered in brown clothe at the right far corner. You cannot underestimate the power of melodious songs it creates when the notes are hit right. I pulled the cushioned footrest, barely looking at Her while at the back of my mind, She knew I was coming. And before I was able to kneel, tears have been dropping my cheeks. I looked at Her tender eyes, and gentle sobs begin to fill my empty space. I don't know what to tell Her, nor where to start. I covered my face with my closed hands, pouring out a prayer I cannot say, letting Her know that I am here once again asking for Her strength, imitating Her composure in silence, surrendering the things I don't have the power to control, and the courage to brave the roads yet to unfold. I was not afraid to show Her how vulnerable I can get, because there's nothing I can hide from Her genuine face. The same face I struggle to hold on to when it feels like I'm a waning candle steadfastly illuminating the light needed by someone else. And the soft sobs turned into inconsolable ones..

I heard footsteps coming toward the altar as I buried my face to the wipes I held on my hands. The men carried a new piano placed before the altar. They looked waywardly at my direction, being the one left alone there and I didn't give much care. The man in his 40's started to hit soft keys, and it filled the place with hymn. At the farthest left corner, a responsorial psalm reads.."My Lord is kind and merciful".. 

I sat down on the pew, examined the whole place, trying to memorize its details so I will not forget. The hour of Great Mercy has passed. The inside of the church fell silence again. I am there, emptying the heavy loads I cannot tell to anyone. I know I was prompted to come to Her today, for She always been my liaison to Him.

She listened.

She held my hands.

She embraced me once more.