How Did I Know He’s the One

 And if I do well in life, it is because I married the right person.

Your next question is, “how did you know he is the right one?”

Let me answer it the other way.

I dated a handful of wrong ones. And you know they aren’t the one because you struggle a LOT. 

In. Almost. Everything.

For his time. 

For his efforts.

For his loyalty.

For his attention.

For a fruitful conversation.

For his appreciation.

For his respect.

You know you are with the right person (at least for me) if:

1. You receive freely the above. Without coercion. Without bribe. 

Without you having to ask for it.

2. You feel at peace with your choices. (So does the people who loves you.)

When I told my sister Robz about Benedict, she told me the lines I’ll not forget. “I feel at peace when you mentioned him to me.” She just prayed for me that time at Pink Sisters Convent in Tagaytay.

3. The people you love can ALSO see the things you see in him. 

They say that people around you (esp who loves you) will see what you don’t see when you are in love. In my case, the people that I love the most, my family and closest friends, saw the things I love about Benedict.

The way he would pull a chair for me. Open the car door. Moves me aside when we cross the street. And the many simple, chivalrous things. So if you keep on telling your family he loves you and respects you and they DON’T SEE the same, take it as a red light.

4. He includes you in his plans, in his routines, in his family talk, with his friends, with the world.

You have that space in his life dedicated only for you. (And you don’t need to remind yourself or ask yourself where you’re at this point of your life).

5. He sees doing life with you.

And I mean even changing nappies! 

He dreams of seeing your future selves old and gray, with a cup of coffee, on a cold night, at the balcony, the two of you, in a fruitful conversation, looking at a family photograph of your younger selves with your children and grandchildren.

 “Look what we made, Babe!”

Next month, it’ll be a year I married Benedict. I know it’s a long way to go for our marriage. But it seems we’re wed a long, long time ago.

Perhaps because every day, we take each other’s breath away.

Because every day, we’re excited with each other.

Because every day, we both live with the Now.

Because every day, we fill each other’s cup of love, respect, gratitude.

Because every day, we invest in our relationship.

I’m a better person because of Benedict. And I chose to be. 

Every day. 

For eternity.

I do well in life. 

Because I married my God’s best.

“I’m scared, God. But I put my trust in You.”

I was 5 weeks pregnant when I went on bedrest due to spotting. We just happily announced our pregnancy that time but here we are. “I’m scared, God”. Scared to lose this precious gift we prayed hard. “But I put my trust in You”. My prayer would end that way.

Here comes the hyperemesis gravidarum (excess vomiting). Another fearful times when I worry a lot. I cannot keep the food down. How my baby would receive the nutrients she needed? We would go to ER every now and then, and my husband would give me intravenous medications just so I can eat. I didn’t gain a pound for the 1st trimester. “I’m scared, God. But I put my trust in You.”

At 17 weeks, when the rough vomiting resolved, I took advantage of the appetite. We thought that the next trimester would be a “honeymoon” stage, as they claimed it. We found ourselves in ER again, not just for treatment this time but for admission. I have an inflamed appendix which necessitates to be operated. “I’m scared, God. But I put my trust in You.”

Bene, very small at that time, was seen covering her ears during MRI. It was moving to see your child keeping strong. So did I. 

Not a day passed when I didn’t talk to my little girl. For her to keep holding on as we progress on our journey. For her to grow well and that I am here and her Papa, praying for her every night. Benedict would read to her as she’s part of our evening devotional. 

Then the unthinkable happened. I contracted COVID at 26 weeks. Far from full term just yet. I remember that morning when Benedict was embracing me while I was bawling in tears. “Kawawa nman ang anak ko.” But I surrender everything at the feet of the Lord. Despite all my fears when there come a point I felt her move less. “I’m scared, God. But I put my trust in You.”

I was discharged a COVID survivor, COVID negative after 10 days of isolation.

Days rolled and we reached our 34th week. During ultrasound, it was found out she has cordcoil. Is there no end to this? My silent cry. But I keep on praying for Bene. For strength. For willpower as we near our due date. There are countless nights I would rub my tummy just to make sure she is still alive. I would praise heaven when she would somersault in he middle of the night. “That’s my girl!”.

Night before my water broke, Benedict told Bene that she can now go out and see the world. I pre-empted him and said “We have a week still. But if you are ready Bene, then we are.” 

And at 4:20am on June 13, our Bene came out crying strong, whole and whooping in weight (3.005kg!) at 36 weeks and 3 days.

Our journey was like crossing the Red Sea. But God has been (and always will) gracious to allow us to cross the parted sea with raging waves with our feet dry. 

Towards my promise gift. 

Our Emmaus Benedique. 

“I’m scared, God. But I put my trust in You!”