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| Photo Credit: Robz Tan |
She is my champion when it comes to selfless giving. She is my constant when it comes to giving without expecting anything in return.
I was a 3rd grader then, fatherless. One day, she brought me and my sister to a small shopping mall. Opportunity like this is a luxury for us. I cannot contain my giddiness watching all the mannequins beautifully clothe in dresses you can only see in TV. Perhaps because we live a simple life, and having enough is more than enough for us.
I stood in front of a glass watching the colorful Mickey Mouse watch. I can’t take my eyes off it I didn’t hear her calling my name. Feeling her hand on my shoulder, she politely asked the lady tending the store how much it costs. “P280”.
“I’ll get two pieces”, she proudlysaid. She was vibrant and young and single. All her money is always intended for our needs when she could have spent it for herself.
She took a P500 bill from her purse and hand it to the lady. “Kulang ni Ma’am”(Ma’am this is not enough), the quick reply. She glanced at the price tag and see it for herself. “Ahhh, P280 gle, abi ko P80” (ahh this is P280, I thought it’s 80), the soft words came out from her. She handed back the Mickey Mouse watch, my gaze still transfixed while it was returned back to its nesting place.
“I can’t take one watch. I have two nieces with me. Maybe next time.”
That was the first time Mickey Mouse broke my heart.
But that was also the first time I realized what equality is. How she would always play fair in giving because everybody should have a share. I grew up with most of the days preoccupied by the picture of that watch.
When I reached college and doing my immersions, I hated it when she would wake up ahead of my alarm clock. My meal’s ready, uniform well-pressed, my travel bag contained items that comes in two: two sets of towel, two sets of pillow case, two sets of slippers. All to ensure that I’ll never run out of things I’ll be needing outside home. We would then walk together up to the Jeepney station, she on her old worn jacket and cap. The moment she would turn her back from me, I can feel a lump on my throat, my eyes would moist out of so much sacrificial love from someone who dedicated her life to make everything easy for me. Someone who would save Christmas gifts as our "emergency fund". Someone who never bought a nail polish for herself. Her hands, are in fact, wrinkled and battled doing dirty and hard stuffs for me and my sister.
I am now a nurse, and with humility, can buy more sophisticated watch.
But I’m always humbled by that day when she wasn’t not able to buy me that Mickey Mouse watch. Because she gave me the most precious commodity a Mickey Mouse watch can never commensurate.
Her T I M E.
The world is full of intellectuals. The earth has produced skillful and achiever individuals. The gadgets worn out fast as everyday, another one evolves. The days are fast. Everyone's pacing in their own rights and rhythms. The earth continues to revolve on its axis without anyone giving a damn. On the simple corner of the complicated world, there lies someone who don't know what iPad is, what Macbook Air looks like, what a blog is all about. But in that simple corner of the world is someone who dirtied her hands doing the hard stuffs, keeping Christmas gifts to be an "emergency fund", a graying hair and appearing laugh-lines. There lies someone who knows how to genuinely love, an expert in self-denial and delayed gratification.
I could have received the highest medals in formal education and she's the deprived one, but compared to me and anyone of us, she's more intelligent. Because she doesn't live with her brain, she lives with her heart.
And because of that, she's illuminating the brightest inner light.
The light of SELFLESS LOVE.
I am so ashamed to withhold love. I am so ashamed to deny others of love.
How could I when all my life, I have seen and felt love.
Inspiration: Leonor Venegas Tan, single by choice
Profile : Aunt of the author
Expertise : Lingering Service in Self-giving
Happy Birthday Tita!
My love for you is immaculate.
