I'm a girl trapped in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia with coffee on the left hand while working on this article with my right hand.I missed this hideout.
I rarely been deeply moved lately until I came to my senses that my Third Place, my blog site, will be turning 6 years! Can you imagine the tons of grammar and subject-verb agreement errors all those posted articles contain all through these years?
I'd rather care for the lives I will touch than the minds I would have to impress. This is my aphorism at the birth of Optimistic Chameleon. That is why it comes with tag lines-and life's great lessons.
..life's great lessons...
I used to work in Surgical Ward.
For years, I've been handling cases of patients that shaped my life in most unexpected ways.
I've been pushing stretchers.
Collecting patients from Operating Room.
Did charting for files I can hardly enumerate.
Missed bus ride for a matter of minutes and went home late.
Another shift would wait when I can hardly call my family for days.
But I was happy.
I'm doing my One Thing in life.
Serving.
Then came my promotion to be an ICCU Nurse.
I've been pushing Hemodialysis machine.
And beds included.
Did my charting on an in-depth perspective.
Seen life fading away.
Life an inch from Death.
I was trained in ways I never thought I would endure.
My Head Nurse (Hi Ate Claire!,haha) understand this.
But me? It took a while before each piece of struggle made sense.
I used to complain why I have to be the Charge Nurse in 2 days' row while she can choose another senior to do the job. I complained because I have to go down for Narcotics while I have patient upstairs that is standby for intubation. Walking with those thick prescriptions on hand, I would complain I haven't eaten my lunch and the clock seemed to be at its speed limit I was pushed to learn to managed to shrink all the tasks I have to do in a shift.
"But why?"
I was in the Narcotic Room spinning the miniature globe while waiting for replacement of our used Narcotic ampules, thick prescriptions on the table waiting for the Director's signature when all these ripples of the past came back unguarded.
Little did I know that those pieces of puzzle I considered to be "harsh" were exactly the pieces I needed for the plans He has in mind for me, now being the Head Nurse of one of the busiest units of the hospital.
I was on a training ground all those times.
"That's why."
For 6 years into blogging, my articles were founded not on the times my life was in full bloom. Mostly, I shared experiences out of my deepest wounds and exponential struggles. This is the very thing people in pain needs to understand, but usually failed to.
Who would accept sickness as a blessing? Who, with a sound mind, would tolerate losing? Who would glory from rejection and frustration? None of us would.
The looming days are here once again. I feel a surge of uncertainty creeping into my every inch I'd rather choose to keep the remaining strength to hope for better days. Sometimes, life's perplexities are so overwhelming we are tempted to yield to our "but why?". I don't know what awaits for me out there when I have to give up a comfort zone in the coming days, or months. All I know is that this not-so-bright side I'm into, someday, this very piece I'm weeping for, will complete my life's bigger picture.
Thank you, as always, for all of you who would continuously visit this site despite of my temporary dormancy. I am lost for words out of gratefulness. Life, perhaps, has its own way of letting us discover our "why's". I'm blessed that despite of my inadequacies, the Lord has blessed me with reasons to keep on seeing life full of "that's why!".
Keep on looking!
Good night.
