The nearby mosque started to chant in night's oblivion. I hardly understood a word, but I know it's all praises to the god they worship to. As to what extent of that chant can do to their faith, I have no doubt it's only for the better. I have seen tremendous acts of leap of faith, and I'm in no position to question any. I believe in the unseen goodness, no matter what race or religion it originated.
At this age, life has somehow taught me to read between the lines, to heed the signs, to be attentive to the Hands that wave "go here", "not here" or "to somewhere else". I must admit that the mushrooming changes every now and then in technology has replaced the what-has-been trend of human connection. That explains, in a way, why our hunger for love will never be satiated. Because we've been fishing in an empty pond.
Sleep, as it has been a luxury nowadays for my not-so-normal life anymore compelled me to sit on my bed and give my phalanges a good exercise. This, for the longest time since I started blogging, the year I rarely made compositions. Change has it's own price. Blessings has its own burden. Life is not absolute. And so you cannot embrace a blessing without embracing the burden.
A month from now, a year will be added to my age. I frequently ask friends older than me "how does it feel to be in your mid 30's?" And often, the answers make me cringe.
So here are the curiosities and the serendipitous lessons from a girl who will be turning 31. (But this is just between you and me=) )
1. Our parents are the most worthy people who deserve our Forever.
I grew up in a fatherless home dominated by strong women in the family. This is where I account my being independent and strong-willed character. My mother is an epitome of grace under pressure. And seeing her only once a year made me guilty of the many deprived moments we could have at least share. She had her birthday last May. She aged under my nose but I rarely noticed it until she was diagnosed to be Diabetic. Ladies and Gents, we can have a lifetime searching for our God's best, and even a decade or more to chase our dreams. But time, as traitor as it always was, can rob away the chance to give back to our parents the love and honor only due to them. Don't miss the chance to savor your Forever. Everyone in this lifetime is just b o r r o w e d.
2. Passion should not replace your Wants.
Writing has been the safest outlet of my being. It's the same as moving a bowel in a day. If I cannot write, well you know what happens in a day without bathroom privilege(s). When I was promoted to be a Head Nurse of ICU, I must say that it bruised me so much when it comes to balancing my passion and my "want" that the position asked of me. I thought I can handle it with ease since it flows in my veins the grace under pressure trait of my mother. But as what they say, you cannot have it all. On the hindsight, I want to look at it this way: where I am now is where exactly God wants me to be because this will fulfill the Passion He planted into my heart. I know that rough times will rock my buoyancy, and there will be voices of doubts booing me to just let it slip away. But hey, God will not take me to where His grace will not sustain me.
If you are in doubt to what road to choose, I'd say, follow your Passion. Happiness in doing what you really love will never be compensated by the amount of money your Want will bring.
3. Madness, have lots of it.
I used to be that "stiff" self-righteous lady who would raise eyebrow to a single act of mischievousness. You can't blame me being raised by a conservative and perfectionist grandmother. To tell you, I wasn't that happy with my old self. I always have "bashers" from people who do not barely understand where I am coming from. (hugot nga eh)
Until I realized, which of course did not happen overnight, that I need to loosen up and savor life.
I started to travel, discovered waterfalls and hills, came home sober from a night of inebriation, chased dangerous love affairs, and started to laugh at my own madness.
For most of my existence, and most of my writings, they were all inspired from my madness.
My madness for life. My madness to discover life. My madness to live that life.
If you're going to ask me which road I'm happier, I'll point all my fingers to where I'd stop being sober and started being mad.
4. Travel in less traveled places.
This is the vanity I cannot simply turn my back to even if I have Arthritis in the future. I have spend my 3 years working hard as a regular staff. When the moment came for me to have my first vacation Abroad, what I uttered was simply ridiculous: "Why I did it just NOW?"
So young people (like us), travel with abandon. Don't soak yourself with work that will bring you a fat pocket but a malnourished experience. Travel with abandon. To where most people won't go. You'll realized that the world is indeed round, and it's not gravity that let's you down. It's your fear to get lost. It's your fear of the uncertainties. It's your fear of being alone. But dear, life is all but uncertainty. And that God is all powerful to provide you a compass in different forms. Always through strangers who will be the face of Trust, the face of God.
Take this from me. Your What If's will be more painful than your Regret.
Travel. And never stop.
5. You will feel alone at one point. But it's okay.
Especially if you are on your way to something far, and better. There will always be someone who will pull the edge of your skirt, who will make you feel you're less better than you deserve. But go on. You don't need people in your journey whom you will show the way, but will abandon you in the middle of the travel. Open the door for them and let them out of your train. You need sunshine in your journey, not the dark clouds to hover you and give you rain. This will make you feel alone at one point. But being a traveler who did some travel alone, the strongest person, you'll realized, resides within you. Because no one can choose your destiny except you. Take all the time, and this is a holler to all single ladies, to merit your being alone. Unknowingly, if you are being happy with yourself, someone from somewhere will notice that. And he will be so ashamed to take that happiness in you he will be force to just add it up ;) Men thinks it is their obligation to make women happy. That's why most are choosing the already happy women. Why? Of course, their job will be less. Just kiddin'.
6. Focus on what you do best.
Aside from writing and travel, I love to paint and read books. I also love to discover new coffee shops (eaves-dropping included). And eat. And eat. Well, it's not so obvious I love eating.
We are gifted with lots of talents. But among these gifts, what bring you closer to God? You cannot be a one-size-fit-all. There must be something that will give you euphoria. That will make your heart swell. That will make your eyes wet. That will make you feel large butterflies growing in your stomach whenever you do that thing. Out of all my faves, I love serving my patients. I feel my life is compose to details of seeing life fading away, and life coming back again. It is through my experiences being a nurse that I shared articles of love and miracles. I focused at the heart of what I think is my ONE THING, and my other passion revolves in it. I travel because I've seen how short life is. If I weren't a nurse, I probably missed the joy of what writing has brought me.
Our life is intertwined. If you know what and where you will focus on, that's what and where leads you to your best.
7. Love is a many splendor thing.
Young love. Difficult love. Lumabo-love, whatever you call it. There's no amount of success or valuable things that can commensurate to the jolt of the human heart whenever we love and be loved in return. However, in my journey towards experiencing it for the last 3 decades of my life, one thing saved me from the pitfalls of love and lie: Do not expect the love you give to be proportionally reciprocated. Instead, just love until you realize you reached your maximum capacity to love. Heartaches are real bullsh*t it'll incapacitate you to even get out of the bed. But hey, as the song goes "it's the lover not love" (ahemm), the sun indeed will shine again.
There are miracles that Science cannot explain. In this modern era, call me nuts but I am a cavewoman believing in the power of what love can heal.
8. Take things slow.
I remember when I was in grade school when I used to open my mother's closet and would surreptitiously check her clothes, make-up and accessories. I can't wait to grow up and do the ladies' things. There's always something that we are in a hurry of doing. In a hurry to accomplish something. In a hurry to reach somewhere. In a hurry to discover anything. I n a h u r r y. Perhaps, that's where the evolution of the word multitasking came from. But what are we really in a hurry of?
Fall in love with smell. Fall inlove with sunshine. Chew your food slowly. Talk to each other. Stare to each other. Use the stairs, not the elevator. Learn to digest each moment. Time will not wait, but don't submit yourself to its bait. No rich man I've known who ever bought TIME again.
Learn the art of taking things slow.
9. Learn to say No.
To your fears. To your doubts. To the voice that derails your buoyancy. To the crowd that takes away your peace. To the world that offers a multitude of desires. To friends that does not support the better you. To the job that keeps you sideways of your God-given gift.
Honor your other YES by standing by with respect to your No.
You'll see that seeking approval from others is the surest way to dissatisfaction and frustration. Pleasing other people is not mandatory. Pleasing the One above is. And you owe it to yourself if you want peace.
10. Pick up where you left.
I saw this striking line when I was revising the Unit's Policies and Procedures. The computer's instruction was "pick up where you left".
Sure that at one point, we've reached dead ends. We hit rock bottom. We were down to our last drop of hope. We lied. We were lied to. We turned our back. Someone's back turned to us. We hurt. We've been hurt. We forgive. We've been forgiven. We failed and failed someone else. We loved and lost. Nothing is absolute in this life. One has a share to other people's lives. And our life is not dependent on the circumstances we are into. It's dependent on our choices.
We are a moving molecule. We are not suspended in the air. We constantly evolve through our daily battles. The secret to keep on moving, is to keep moving on.
Happy to be back to the thing that feeds my soul.
Cheers to the last few days of my 3rd decade. =)
