27 April 2016

..Pain is Good..

And he left her.

After 8 years of investing her life to the man she reserved to freely say her "I do".

Much worst, he impregnated her cousin.

I can imagine the emotional turmoil of betrayal, broken promises, unexplained anguish of losing the man she imagined herself to love and hold, in sickness and in health, till death do they part.

Maria was stricken that nothing last forever...


Meeting Pain
I used to work in Surgical Ward before I became an ICU nurse. Dealing with conscious post-operative patients was indeed a good training ground. I learned to see and smell and touch what pain is and how it turns an angelic face to a monstrous homo-sapient. I learned to distinguished pain that was a product of a break in the skin, and that of a lash in the heart. I remember one patient who submitted herself for admission. The call bell in her room doesn't stop that it becomes the soundtrack of the Unit. I was thinking all along that her pain medication has no avail. When I went in to ask for what she needed, she wanted me to adjust the pillow. She wanted me to turn off the lights. She wanted me to change the channel of the television. She wanted me to close the door of the bathroom. She wanted me to open the bottle of water for her.

I realized that she is indeed in pain.

But she doesn't need my pain medication.

She needed my presence in the form of frequent calls.

To talk to her.

To tell her what time of the day it is.

She's was abandoned in her old age.

She is the face of pain in the modern world.

It was when I can honestly say that I am a superstar staff in implementing the Pain Assessment Tool.



Experiencing Pain
I have my most intimate story of what pain did to me. I was only 9 when my father was murdered. The most ideal time when a child views the world ideally. That tragic turning point left a deep cut in my heart. But as what a good friend told me, "there's always something good that will come out in our misery". It is in our most painful experiences that we draw the same vigor to help others who are in the same boat. It is in the darkest hour that we learn to be susceptible to the present light. It is usually in our deepest cuts we come to realize the power of faith, that healing comes with the rhythm of time and space. And in that point when you feel it doesn't ache anymore, you know that nothing, nothing can shun you away.




To the man who left Maria, I would like to thank you for hurting her.

Because you showed her that life doesn't end where she thinks it did.

Thank you for shattering her world.

Because she found that there's a bigger world apart from you.

Thank you for breaking her spirit. Because she found beauty in each of her broken piece.

Thank you for giving her the chance to get lost.

Because she found the way to be whole.

Thank you for her pains.

Because it led her to find the man I called my father.



Pain has its ugly face. Pain has its adverse effects.
But I tell you, pain is good.

It made me better.
It will make you better.

Decide to choose pain to make you better.

Maria did.


Thanks, Mom for being brave.










04 April 2016

The People Of My 2015

"A Good Day to Say Thank You." This is the title of the last article I've contributed to the hospital's Thanksgiving celebration for our re-accreditation program. It is indeed possible for a man to go somewhere without looking back, but happier is the man who never forget where he had been.
I would pause once in a while upon scribbling this down. The city lights are distracting in radiance, glowing in different hues, adeptly assuming its tenure in the dark night. Do they sense that I am out here amusingly gazing at its glow? And who cares? Not everything around us deserves an explanation. Not everything but my gratitude.
I can't, for heaven's sake, start any article without looking back and writing it down to those people who inspired me to propel forward, to dream more, to expand the grasp of my horizon, to be a blessing, and turning my mess into a MESSage.

                                                               
 Dr. Safaa Al Essa

In the field of Medicine, you rarely find doctors who are vocal enough to incorporate Emotional Intelligence in their practice. It was my last remaining days before my vacation when I received a weird phone call from his office asking me to be a speaker. I thought it was just an honest mistake thinking that the previous speakers were all doctors. But because  you cannot be rude to the person you have high regards to, and though I felt that there was a gun pointing on my head to say yes, I was able to say yes that paved way to the creation of Is It Worth It article, my personal favorite (favoritism aside) as an underground blogger.
Sometimes, it takes someone to believe in you to realize what you've got.
Thank you Dr. for that little push, for always inspiring me of your humble journey and your stories of compassion. Your wisdom uplifts my spirit and encourages me to serve not just with the brain, but moreover, with a heart.



Ms. Dominga Pecdasen

And when you see the "5441" flashing right before your eyes, it's either you inhale deeply or bite your lower lip as you listen to the voice on the other line saying, "H e l l o,  K i m b e r l y...."
There's a profound veracity that diamonds are formed from tremendous heat before they shine its brilliance. My ATM (at the moment) kind-of-life can attests to that. And the struggle is real =)
To be great, we should create a space to say yes to teachings. To be great, there should be humility to accept that you need the tremendous heat to wake you up from mediocrity. I'm neither half of what she had been through, but for sure, she too was polished long and hard enough before she shines her brilliance.
Thank you for pushing us to bring out the "diamond" in us. Sure it's not easy, it will not be easy, and never will be. But as what they've said, all experts were once beginners. And we are lucky being trained by an expert who never stops learning to be one.



                                                                 
 Kim's Angels

I had a foretaste of what it is to lead a team early of January last year. 20 people, with different level of coping, with different personalities. It was a challenge for me, and still is everyday (but this is just between you and me) on how can I inspire them and motivate them to serve not by looking at our patients like a mere individual but seeing through their pains behind the incessant and inpatient calls. 
They say that you can manage assets fairly well. But people? Hell yeah!
My instinct, of which I trust most of the time, tells me that there must be something of this that I will one day thank heavens for. Sure it's not always a smooth day. I know I have so much more to learn when it comes to leading. I just hope that despite of all my inadequacies, God will give me more strength to develop more future leaders.
Thank you girls for roughing through the hard days and for being my extended family away from home.
(No excuse though for proper waste segregation. *eyebrows' up)



                                                                    Jessie Jayme

My respect for Sir Jayme since high school has never waned. Lots of things have changed. I traveled far and back. Discovered cities and the covetousness of men, yet, when I'm home, it seems like I always have a place where memories are as good anew.
Thank you Sir for reminding me how a giver's life should be. I am more rejuvenated to earn more so I, too, can give more. More wheelchairs to come!
And as what I've told you, when you find it difficult to walk anymore, I'll be glad to push the wheelchair for you.


  
                                                                            Robz Tan

How should I start honoring the person who complain less and gives more? Should I have one kidney left, you know I'll not think twice to sign a Do Not Resuscitate so you can have mine.
Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings. I will always be grateful to have you, my best friend, my all-wrap-up-into-one travel buddy. If you remain single by choice, I promise to make more nieces and nephews for you,LOL
I love you until sunset days.




Fr. Norbert Alvin CaƱada

No one can deliver my Eulogy better than the one who is both a keeper of my worst and my best. For what I've been through and will be going through, where I'd been and where I am going, I always find true comfort to the giver of Time. Thank you for the whisper of prayers that have held me tight in my most trying times. Wherever life would take us, and no matter how fast your white hair sprouts, I'm keeping my share to treat you to Bench Fix Hair. ;)
I'm always grateful for the gift of repartee.



Maria Arlene Gelveson Tan
                                                                                 
I envy how she managed to have the composure and grace carrying the cross God had given her. I can only weep on this part knowing that at some point, I had been one of those who scratched her heart. Thank you Mama for always understanding your first born's indifference. I will be forever in debt to the example you set before me and my sister. One day, when I have a family of my own, your grandchildren will surely know where their mom took her good looks (ahem).

P.S.
Son-in-law to follow...




                                                                               
 To Kim

..whom I owe more love (and travel) this year.
 I may not tell you often, but you know I love you. #Love Yourself



To the best year yet!