..it belongs to the Cross..

(c) Kostas Satlanis

I stand at the top of the mountain. It was about noon time, and sunset is at hand. From afar, a mystic beauty of the beach caught my attention. Two chair were there, empty. It was one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Glistening somewhere in it is the Cross. It made me decide to go down from where I've been and followed it. I don't know exactly how it happened, but I crossed the river. My feet can feel the smooth rounded stones underneath. I was not taken away by the currents. For there was none. I passed a strait, good enough for my size with water still flowing in it at the level of my waist. I breathe in, not so sure if there were other people crossing with me.

I reached a road, a passage towards the place that swept my heart away. I walked passed a group, they are barefooted., playing on the ground. I can't understand their noise so I continue walking. Along my strolls, a woman in her old age warned me not to enter the place. I reached the nearby parameters anyway, almost there. But why is it, that when I'm near to the beauty that captivated my peace, I feel so lonely? The beach, the mystery inside, the empty chairs, all of these added to the melancholy while I am standing at its entrance. I am eager to go inside, find out what's in there, what made me crossed the river when in fact, I haven't done it in my previous soul-travel. Why it is such a lonely place when from afar, I saw the Cross in there, shimmering among the rays of the sun.

I was about to sign my name at its entrance when I woke up. I close my eyes again, wondering what time is it, recalling the vivid dream that made me cry early in the morning. I was born to have abnormal dreams, those that is supposed to be for people who are living a life of piety. But I get by with it, for none can say what it conveys. And so when I'm sober, I consoled myself with the thought that probably, there are things in life we can be amaze at by just looking at them ONLY from afar. To revere the mystery at distance. To be content gazing to the joy it brings without having to make it your own. For taking them into our hands, owning them, pushing ourselves to get in  will not make us totally happy in the long run.

What lies inside that place, I cannot say. It's probably not for me...

 It belongs to the Cross.

..just like the feet..

The empty receiving room, the absence of noise, the spacious couch. I'm home..

I poured the 2-liter container of milk into the glass, grabbed the pillow from my room and settled in my favorite corner of the house. Elevating my legs is one of my simple joys of the day, and it became a habit. I love the moments of solitude when a glass of milk saves me from conserving energy of cooking meals. I have all the time in the world watching my feet, and why my mom loves to hold it everytime. I wonder what would it be if God created them facing backward. I'll twist my waist then to lace my  shoes, probably rotate some angle of my head for me to fix it because I'll be wearing them the other way around, and I'll be moving, errrr...backwards. I shake off the morbid thoughts, watch my toes fanning out, bending and wiggling them such as to say they are a happy feet. And thanking God He orchestrated it magically perfect I doesn't have to do all things I imagined above.

How beautiful life becomes depends on how beautiful we look at things. Sure, we have our own keepsake of unwanted memories. Those that withhold us from experiencing the true joy of living. If only we can learn to simplify things, honor the blessings starting from ordinary people surrounding us everyday, channeling the bad circumstances into something which we can draw lessons from, and making the deepest pit of our trials into a bouncing leap of inspirations, then probably, there will be less lonely people in the universe. If our feet can say the hidden truth why they were made that way, I would like to think of it this way: that just like our feet, life is meant to be traveled forward, no matter how complicated it is, no matter how unsure we are what lies ahead in there, no matter how many times we hit rock bottom, no matter how much we've been rejected, despised, tested, and pushed to our limits. Because between those stops and pauses, light shines somewhere in the depths of our hearts. I don't know what you call it, but I believe it's the inherent power of the human soul to keep on moving. Whatever the things we conceive in our mind, remember , God is already there.  He'll be the last man standing for you.

..some kind of traffic..

I sat on the last seat portion of the bus. It's a bit late as my day is filled with such an enormous adrenaline rush I can feel I really am an ICU nurse. But when I take off my scrub suits and leave the unit, shaking off the scenes and grumblings that might elude my inner peace, I am there at the far most space leaning over the glass window, thanking  God I still have the strength to watch the evening sky. The bus started to move, and I am oblivious of the bumper to bumper traffic. Many people on that street are fathers  and mothers who are in a hurry to see their kids back home, probably excited to get kissed and hugged by their toddlers to soothe their aching muscles of all day's work, or probably teenagers who are preoccupied of the class thesis to be finished, or someone with a drain battery of laptop with urgent office files due first thing in the morning, or someone whose stomach complains of something to be a grind. Nobody would want to be stuck up from such a time consuming waiting..and waiting..and waiting.

Momentarily, out of the many hassles of the day, there will always be a moment when you are retracted back to that comfort, quiet zone. There, you are able to recount how you were able to passed life's perplexities and emerging victoriously as a strong soul. Success has its own adverse effects. Going after our dreams can sometimes make us forget the essence why we go after it. There is no pause button in life. Everything moves fast. People age, our bodies age, the world age. We are in one moment on a security ground, then one moment on a course we never planned. Some kind of traffic. We need that once in a while to slow down, to rectify our priorities in life, to put value on people and goals that will make us conclude that there are things in life we cannot pack to heaven. A quiet time for yourself, a time for God, a time for life. That's something traffic taught me to think over about.

Goodnight! =)