..don't forget to love..

He was there on the bed listening as I arrange his lunch for today. His gaze come to passed on me once or twice since I was in the room. It's been our second encounter. I opened the can of milk, slowly pouring it into the tube attached to his nose. He blinked. I smiled. Then silence fell. I held his hand, felt some strength from it as he tried to move his fingers. I started saying a prayer, something I haven't done to someone. At least not that vocal. I continued holding his hand that is trying to grip mine. I can't merely understand the words that I'm saying, but it seemed so effortless. We remained like that for quite sometime. And then he started moving his other hand. I reached for it and brought it closer over the other. I was brimming to my ear as he threw his eyes on me as if he understood everything. He might just did as tear escape from the corner of his eye and some saliva drooling on the corner of his mouth. It doesn't matter, I wiped it dry. It was the most powerful love I felt today. 

I remember the view of the morning sun from the little window on the third floor before walking in the ICU. "Teach me God to love the way You love". It was my fervent prayer for the day. I've been physically spent from days of working, but then again the sun always shine somewhere. Today, it didn't fail me =)  

While I'm waiting for my cramping legs to get a little better, I imagine my patient lying there on the hospital bed. The days he missed to see the sunshine, or perhaps riding an elevator (and smelling the person next to you and wondering what his scent could be), or merely the thought of just being out of the hospital. When I close the door of his room, I nearly forgot that I still haven't washed my hands and so crying should be delayed, perhaps. I looked at him from the glass window, imagining that one day, my own body will fail. Beauty will lost its brilliance, I would probably won't have the same knack from learned skills, my memory will not be that vivid, and saliva may drool on the corner of my mouth by then. I made up my mind. I will love until that day comes.

There are just so many things I learned these past days of moving out from my comfort zone and being in my courage zone. I'd like to keep it all in my heart and offer it all to God who's always teaching me ways to be far better, compelling me to serve not just with my hands and brain, but above than any skill there is, to love and love and love His way. 

I'm tired but I'm well. Sweet night!=)

P.S.

Make up your mind. Don't forget to love!

..One blow and the Law of Gravity..

Photo Credit to Jem Ven Ar.
 http://www.facebook.com/JemArabesPixstory

When I was a kid, mom told me that I once asked my late grandfather why the stars remained in the sky yet they do not fall. My poor grandpa just shook his head. When I started to hear phenomenal things like galaxies, Milky Way, and Law of Gravity, I content myself that there are things in life complicated to be explained and that God is behind them all. When I had my first share of being heartbroken, ahemm, I was thinking that there must be something wrong in the Law of Gravity. That if everything attracts everything, why people tends to fall? Is someone giving more and the other less? 

I've been watching the tree just across the street while I am waiting for our bus. The blowing of cool breeze of wind makes my eyes drooping yet I can't afford to lose sight of the swaying of leaves basking with the sunset. Then the leaves started falling one by one. Gravitational pull, I muttered. Some of them fell on the ground, some fell elsewhere after being blown by the wind. But the tree remained still, having its joyous standout after some falls from its branches.

I was swept away with the realization of that moment. We are the tree and the falling leaves are the failures we encounter  in our struggles, the losses after sometime of fighting the hard battles, and the pains and anguish after giving your all. The leaves that fell on the ground are the elements we can't get back and go back to: time, broken trust, missed opportunities. The wind is God. The leaves that fell elsewhere are the ones blown by Him. They were there for a reason. God willed that they should be there. It may represent our daily problems, glitches in work, difficulty in forgiving, a strained relationship that can be retrieved with humility, sickness and disabilities, vicious habits that enable us to understand the woundedness of others and the many things that enable us to be better that is why these conditions and situations exist. I don't know about you but I believe that the things that pulled us down are the same things that make us remain standing, fighting, and grounded. The gravity that pulled the leaves down is the same gravity that keeps you standing. Ironic?

The Law of Gravity states that things tend to fall downward. But somewhere between that gravitational pull, God can change the course of your destiny. One breath of His provision and you'll be healed, you'll get the job you wanted, you'll get the visa you're praying for, you'll have the lovelife (ahemm ahemm) you've been long waiting for, you'll have the taste of success that seemed to be so effortless. I am convinced that there was indeed wrong with the Law of Gravity. Because when God blows the wind of His will, even the Law of Gravity cannot do anything. So stay joyous while swaying and basking in the present moment, keep yourself open with God's miracles, giving thanks in all your circumstances and keeping in mind that behind, beneath, over and under all the gravitational pull, God is working hard only for your best.

So then, even gravity cannot let us down! =)