..An Epitaph: She Died LOL ..

Photo Credits to Robz Tan

The hallway's light were already off. It has been my third night shift duty. The whole ward is now peacefully joining the slumbering population. The only clutters I can hear from where I am sitting are the leafing of the vital signs sheet monitoring and the cup of coffee being held and laid down every now and then. My eyes are a bit lazy as I am watching our Resident doctor accomplishing the prescriptions. Half of the world are now asleep; half are awake for reasons not of my concern anymore. I'm lucky enough to be sitting on the corner of the medication room, goosebumps visible on my arms as my vision is affixed on my own penmanship which in the long run I realized is not making sense anymore and therefore concluded a severe hopeless case for that matter. What keeps me awake are the songs played from my co-worker's phone and the once in a while call from the patient's room. I'm not in the mood to strike a conversation to anyone which I usually does on early dawn. I just wanted to savor my undisturbed bliss on the swivel chair on crossed-leg. I miss blogging, I miss Chameleon's wall. I still have images I wanted to put on my sketch pad, paint brushes I wanted to get hold again. But for now, I'm not an underground blogger. I am not a writer, I am not a painter, I am not a jovial photo enthusiast. I am just a girl in a nurses' cap in awe of her own grotesque handwriting.  In those moment of idleness, a letter of relief was composed:

Hi Kim,

How's life lately? Been terrifically busy I guessed. Oh, why tears are welling on those tired eyes? C'mon, I know you are strong. Keep holding on anything that is giving you strength. Nobody said life will be all easy. Be ready for days when even Cadburry's chocolates are not so much of aid. Drizzles will come unexpectedly and you are not spared from getting wet. Keep that resilient composure, grip on your beliefs that no matter how long a night is, it culminates into a day. Same as how terrible a day is, it ends to a night of rest. By the way, you deserve a tap on your shoulder. It had been such a while when you rested those for refuge. And let me give you big warm hug. You often do that to someone else. You surely deserve one. I wanted you to know how blessed you are: with people, with relationships, with a noble job that helped you live life differently. I'm proud you are investing over people and not on earthly things. Continue to be crazily inlove with life for it has always been your goal. You were asking for an epitaph years back. I guessed you finally found an antidote. And hey Kim, have I told you lately how much I love you? Now wipe those tears. Continue with life. He is moving forward with you..till the end.

No one else, 

Kim

Note Below:

The author might be worn out and crazy. But it's her insanity that keeps her sane. 

Note Below 2:

Article inspired by a previous note click here. To answer what that epitaph will be, it's this:

"She Died  LOL (Living Out Life)".

What's your Epitaph?

..of the door that swung open..

The sun is at its hottest while I am sitting on the bench waiting for the bus. I haven't had enough sleep that day given that everybody is busy for the hospital activities. I breathe for a while watching the dove tiptoeing on the swamp road after an evening of drizzle. It pause for a while and I was able to get a good shot from my DSLR. Returning back from where I was seated to get some rest while waiting, the sensored door on the other end of the corridor keeps on opening and closing upon sensing an attempt of passage. I was glued for the moment on that motion, forgotten my sister's voice who is the bearer of an unwanted news. The temperature outside from where I was seated  added to the overwhelming melancholy. Yet, I have chosen to stay at peace, to be strong, to be still; for no one will do it for me being away from my family. It feels like nothing is of existent at that moment but the door that was extravagant in opening and closing, and my heart that has chosen to beat in the fight of whatever it feels.

I sauntered many doors before.  And many set foot on mine. Our life is like a door. You have no control who will come neither you have the power to control who will go. Some will twist the knob open, peeking slowly head first and with a smile knocks you down head-over-heels. Some will never knock at all, and shattered your world upside down. Some will step a foot keeping it adjacent, only to find that another foot is ready to say goodbye. People in this world are really just passing by. You cannot trust even a familiar door. It can shut its back on you any moment. And in every closing door, tears surely will fall. Hearts surely get bruised. Strength surely gets tested. Character changes. Life is never be the same again. But as the law of Physics says that in every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Today, you might feel that a certain door of your life bang a big noise that spells out C-L-O-S-E. Someone could have left you without a goodbye, you could have lost a loved one, a proposed project that was turned down, a wanted position that was given to others. The door could had just been shut off on you. But there will always a moment that it will open again. For doors are not made for the purpose of exit. It was mainly created for entrance. New hands will soon hold the knob, new fist to knock and make a new sound, new face to peep and give a smile, new feet to walk with you in your traverse of life.

People are just mere motion. Anytime, they can stop. It's not our job to control the motion. Our only job is to trust the Sensor.

..and allow Him to do the impossible.